Yesterday was Memorial Day – a time to remember and honor those in our Armed Forces that have served throughout our nation’s history.  Many have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, and to them I am incredibly grateful and forever indebted.  Veterans leave a powerful legacy.

I began thinking about legacy in another way yesterday.  Without diminishing the solemnity and power of Memorial Day, I began thinking about the legacy I hope to leave my children.  Since I’m not a veteran, my legacy will of course be different than those we honor on Memorial Day.

When my three children look to their graying parents years from now, I hope they see the intentionality and deliberation with which my wife and I have tried to leave a positive legacy for them.  We strive to provide a place of safety, a place of good memories and happy times, a place our children will always remember as “home.”  Among other things, we trust these ingredients will work to provide a lasting marital legacy for our children – so they can repeat the pattern in their own marriages.

We’re not perfect at this marriage game.  We never will be.  I just hope and pray that our family sees how serious we take the marriage relationship.  Like so many before us, we’re developing a legacy.

A friend got engaged over the weekend.  You should see the grin on her face.  It’s more than a smile – it’s a big ear-to-ear contagious grin that lights up the room wherever she goes.

Remember those days?  Remember your grin when you were first married?  Remember “back in the day” when the happiness in your marriage was contagious to all your friends and family?

Life happens quickly, though, doesn’t it?  Jobs happen.  Kids happen.  Stress happens.  How do you keep the happy in your marriage?  Take some time this week to remember the good times – and recreate them with your spouse.

Go bowling dressed in 1980’s clothes.  Go to the moving picture show in your finest Sunday outfit.  Recreate your first date (which for me involved a movie, a Cheese Factory, some sparkling cider, and apple pie a la mode from Peggy’s Café).  Whatever you do – make the time, spend the money, and give your spouse a happy trip down the memory lane of your marriage.

We’ve been talking about marriage and commitment recently in our blog posts.  We know that high levels of commitment in marriage is a protective factor against divorce.  Imagine my surprise and delight when I had the following exchange with my son last weekend over a game of catch.

We were in the yard tossing the pigskin, when apparently my 8 year-old thought he was hot stuff and couldn’t drop anything.  In a pre-adolescent burst of bravado, he shouted out, “Dude, I’m like a ball magnet.  I don’t drop anything.”

Note to self: must teach son about humility

He continued, “It’s like that with the ladies.  I’m a girl magnet, too.” To which daddy said, “Dude, you’re eight – there’s no such thing as a girl magnet.”  And with a big silly grin on my face, “At least not one as powerful as I am.”

“Whatever, Dad.  You’re just a magnet to mom.”

A magnet to mom.  A magnet to my wife?

Guilty as charged.  He’s right, and I’m glad he sees that quality in my marriage.  I’m still drawn to my wife after 14 years of marriage, as she is drawn to me.  Despite challenges, relationship roadblocks, kid stress, job stress, life stress, etc., we stick together like powerful magnets.  We’re in it for the long haul.  We are committed to each other.

I wonder sometimes what makes the magnet of our marriage so strong.  More importantly, what makes the magnet of your marriage strong?  What is it that keeps you together?  I’m sure there’s something positive you can think of – so take some time today and share with your spouse some of the reasons you choose to stay committed to each other and your relationship.